What You've Been Waiting for?

Five. Five Dollar. Five Dollar Footlooooong. Curse you Subway and your damn jingle!! I've been singing that song for days!!! If I can't get that song out of my head, well then, I'll subject you all to the same fate!! Sorry! Got a little bit out of hand there...Okay here they are. My wedding pictures. My brother & I. If I was a guy, I would look like my brother. Tee hee. Genetically, we both have the exact same facial features. It's neat that we have the same mouth because his son and Nick both have our mouths. You can tell they are related! But thats another post! My lovely bridesmaids!Our lovely family that we had out of wedlock! ;)I just wanted to show the flip flops I wore during my wedding! Tee hee!I like this picture only because I think I look cute like Meli!! She smiles all cute!!Cake time!!At the dinner!All of my close friends! (from left to right) Maid of Honor, Laura, my friend Cynthia that I grew up with (she visited me from out of town!), Kathleen, moi, Ashlie, Christy and Lindsey.This picture is of the Best Man (left) Jon and then me. When I first saw this picture, one word popped into my head. Trouble. Haha!! Well trouble for Jonathan...And thats pretty much it. I WILL post about my honeymoon, only because I KNOW I had a past life in Hawaii. That's the most beautifulestally place I have ever been in my life. I loved it there. Plan a trip to Hawaii, trust me, it's worth it.

Let the Good Times Roll!!

Baby is finally better. Although, he is getting his 1 yr molars and is extremely cranky. His ear is still leaking out fun-ness, but just a tiny bit. But all in all, he is doing a lot better so thank you for your kind wishes! xoxo

Now onto the good stuff. You know how I told you have have no drunk pictures of me?? Well I kind of lied. I don't have any pictures of my drunken ass-ery, but my friend does! Soo here is my drunk ass during the bachelorette party.

Okay, I wasn't drunk here. --^Lindsey and I were getting ready! This is just my sense'o'humor shinning through!!
Christy was trying to take a picture of me stuffing my face with cake, but she couldn't get it. So, being the great funny friend that I am, I posed with my mouth wide open, eatin' my cake! Key word here is POSED! Lindsey and I dancing...before the alcohol set in.
Around this time, I'm feeling pretty good.

Kathleen and I...the alcohol finally sets in, hence my dumb 2 in the pink, 1 in the stink pimp face. Allkeehall makes me feel gooooooood. I look like I'm pregnant again! haha. And that's all the drunk pictures she had...so there! :P

The Final Countdown! Part 2!

Finally its time to get married! Since my father was so sick, he didn't make it, so my brother walked me down the isle. Right when it was my turn to walk down the isle, I'm thinking, that Taco Bell was not a smart idea. It's about to be down the front of my dress since I was so nervous. But I didn't spew!! The first things that went through my mind was...look up & smile. I have a bad habit looking at the ground when I walk. Escpecially when I'm really nervous! So it was like..take a step, look up at everyone a smile. Take a step, keep looking up and keep smiling. Take a step, don't even think about looking down and wear that damn smile. After that, everything was like a walk in the park. Our pastor made a Seinfeld joke durring the wedding and I thought, too cool! And when it came to our vows, I smiled and said them all without a tear! I couldn't cry! I don't know if there was too many people or if I was too excited to cry, but I didn't.

Afterwards, we had the reception there at the church. We cut the cake and fed it to each other. I reminded Jon that he will feed me first (so that if he smushes it in my face, I could return the favor. He didn't. Smart man). And after everyone left, we took pictures of the wedding party.

We planned a dinner for our family and friends only. You know...so no free loaders would come. But before we headed out to dinner, I stopped at my parents house to check up on my Dad. He was even worse than before. I cried. Because I never saw him so vulnerable, weak and so sick, it was a first for me. I gave him some water and he told me I was beautiful and really wanted to be there. I left with tears streaming down my face. Once we got to the dinner, I was a Debbie Downer. I hardly ate my food and I didn't want to do anything. No first dance with Jon, no throwing of the garder or the bouquet, I didn't want to do anything because my father wasn't there. Everyone noticed.

Towards the end, I lightened up wee bit. OOOH And I made a mixed cd for the dinner, right? One of the songs I put on it was by Carrie Underwood, Before He Cheats. Just for the BM! But I think he was too drunk to noticed. Oh well, he did his dumb toast. It was like, "you guys seem so happy together & I know you guys are going to be with each other for a long time. I'm glad Kelly and Jonathan found each other....blah blah blah" ...Listening to his gay toast was like listening to a crackhead telling me not to do drugs & because he doesn't do drugs, you know whatta mean? Pure bullshit!! After BM's toast, Jon's other groomsman started a toast of his own, which was a surprise to us. His was the same thing, but I knew he was much more sincere because there has been a few times that Jon and I hang out with him when he's drunk/high and he always says he's ready to find "The One" (soo ladies...if your looking for love..) and he wants to have what we have. He's mushy like that. Out of all of Jon's friends, I actually do like him! After his toast was my Maid of Honor's toast. Her toast was mushy too. Then it was my brother's toast & I'm thinking, Mother of pearl! How many damn toasts are we going to hear?! No, I'm kidding.. but he mentions how he was honored to walk me down the isle and that our father couldn't be there. I was touched. I didn't think he would feel that way. I'm glad he opened up because I would never in a million years think that way. Tis nice, that brother of mine!

Around 8:30pm everyone started to leave. Good, damnit! jk. Jon and I packed up some stuff left at the dinner and headed to our room. Maaaan, that room was nast! Mold growing on the shower wall...and not the stingy mold that doesn't come off...this was new mold or whatever. I could wipe if off with my fingers..& there was a big pile of towels right next to our door. Yah, nice. Elegant. We decided to go home for a bit. I forgot why, by that time I was a walking zombie. I just wanted sleep. We got home, striped off our wedding attire and put on comfy pj's and then smoked a bowl! That definatly made the night better! haha ;) after awhile we went back to the hotel and went to bed. NO sex, remember?! Damn period! ugh...dumb uterus. But that was the whole day... and that bed felt soooo good from a day like that!

I lied!

Well I got some time now!! Hot damn, everything is stirring about. That's the best way I can put it. Anywho...Guess what?? I lied!! I got the my camera back last night! Now, I can tell you what we did for my bachelorette party! Yippee!!!So we did what I planned. It was only my 4 Bridesmaids (Laura, Kimmy, Ashlie and Lindsey) and I. First, we went to a nice make-up shop and Lindsey bought me some lipstick to cover up my cold sore! Nice! Next, we went to the mall and bought cute dresses. And I bought a cute dress that was $120.,but was now down to $45. Score! Laura bought me new black heels to go with my dress too! Love her! Then we all went back to Ashlie's house to meet up with everyone and have a small party. Laura also bought a Pimp Cup for me! That was the best! I love that damn glass! And I also wore a "hottie" whistle and a sash that said "Miss "outta control" Bachelorette!" and it flashed! At the party we ate pizza, played guitar hero 3, opened gifts and then it was off to the dance floor! It was fun! It was even better because guys bought me drinks, but didn't dance with me. I didn't have to feel slightly guilty if I did dance with a guy! Remember Christy? Well she was being a sour puss. I knew she would. She was getting granny on us. "I don't want to dance, my feet are killing me. Waaaaaah!!!" She's not a high heel gal at all. If you're a high heel girl you persevere through the pain and make it look fabulous! I got 2 blisters! She's more of an ugg/crocs girl. Ain't nothing wrong with that. But if you know those shoes were going to hurt, why wear them and complain, girlfriend!? Oh well, I figured once I'm drunk she won't matter to me. And I was right! My Momma taught me that! I'm nice and love everyone when I'm drunk. I drank the right amount. Enough for me to get away with doing dumb shit, but still being able to remember it. My friend dared me to kiss this bald's guy head & I did. When I got home I stripped off my dress, down to my under-roos, went to the bathroom and took my contacts out, then I puked. How nice. Just twice. Everything I ate and drank. And after I did, I wanted to pass out on the toilet. It was my new pal. I really wanted to sleep & wasn't going anywhere, but I thought, if Jon finds me here, he will keep remembering me what I did over and over and over again for the rest of my life. So I got up and went to bed! It was such a awesome party!! I loved every minute of it!!

Unfortunately, I didn't have any pictures of my drunk ass. Or the damn Youtube thing! I got all caught up in the fun! I'm sorry!! I'll try to do something this weekend! Gahh...I'm pissing my pants. I'm scared!! I DO want to marry Jon, just not in front of everyone!The rehearsal dinner was...there. We all know are parts and that's the important part. Jon & I practiced our vows. OMG it was crazy. It was my turn and I started tearing up & was about to cry. And when I did that, it was like a chain reaction. Everyone started crying. My mom, Lindsey, Tessie (Jon's mother) and his convict brother! I was all, oh my! But, I told myself to "man up" and I worked through it and I finished without a tear. It was hard. I'm not going to "really cry" until I have to. I know I will. But yah. Then we all ate BBQ afterwards. Yum! We have Kanas City blood in us, so we're all about the BBQ!! And everyone lived happily ever aftah! Thee End. Oh I wish. But, if I get a chance, I'll post about the drama! Tomorrow I'm really busy! Ashlie is my assistant for the day! She's awesome. I've been really venting everything out on her. Thank God for best friends! So here comes the pictures!!! Take care everyone!!

My little sister, Kimmy. Pa-Pannies in yo' face, Pannies in yo face! Pa-Pannies in yo' face, Pannies in yo' face! <---You're supposed to rap to that!Love me some Pimp juice!Ashlie and I.....and of course the Pimp Cup!My Cake!!They said, pick a peen sucker, Kelly! So I took the big one, and they were suprised for some reason. Hello! Of course I want the big one! Who wouldn't?!My Leo Lindsey and I!All thee amigas!! Ash And I at the rehersal dinner!!

yah, I'm here...

But barely. I can't post much. My life is BUSY BUSY BUSY!!! So in a nutshell...My party ROCKED!! I knew it would! I have pictures, but I forgot my camera at my friends house. Poopers. So the weekend after my party was Jon's bachelor/birthday party. Motherfucker. I now offically hate his best friend (aka The Best Man). I have to be nice! I don't want him to ruin my wedding! But shit will indeed hit the fan. I'm so fckn pissed! Oh...so much fckn drama. If I could, that bastard wouldn't even be in my wedding. He didn't get Jon to do anything bad. But the party he planned for Jon, was more for himself (and his ill intentions) than for Jon. Give me 2 weeks and I will deliever the drama. You guys will be amazed at this guys fckn nerve. I can't even believe it. Other than that, the rehersal is tonight! Kill him with kindness. That's my plan. So yah...sorry for the lack of posts...

OH! ANNNND. A big THANKS to Jamie for sending me a card!! Thank you! It made me laugh and feel better!! Take care!

ELLIOT REED HAS LANDED!!

WARNING: LONG RANT AHEAD!! This is going to be a looooong post!! But it's gossipy...so if you like gossipy-girl fights, continue!

OMG!!! It's WWIII between my bridesmaids/friends. The shit hit my fan yesterday. And it didn't need to neithah! My bestest pal, Laura, is my Maid of Honor. And pregnant. 4 almost 5 months now! Well, I guess my friends decided that she's too pregnant. So one of my friends, Christy (who isn't in my wedding), decided to take matters into her own hands and call my friend, Ashlie, and told her what the plans were for the party. Ashlie agreed and they planned the whole thing WITHOUT Laura. Christy also wrote me an email about how Laura didn't seem too enthused to plan it. I'm not going to lie, it kind of hurt me. I'm not asking for a parade or anything, but I thought even though Laura is pregnant, she isn't dead. She can muster up something for me. Well that turns out not to be the case. I find out from Laura that she DID want to help plan the party, but was told it was too late. And she was hurt. Grrrr!! It takes a lot to hurt Laura's feelings; I felt horrible for her. Two of Laura's flaws about her is that she procrastinates and she's a push-over. Needless to say, she couldn't help plan the party, even if she tried.

So next on our list is Lindsey, my stubborn, passionate, loyal Leo. I'm not going to lie. Lindsey suggested (to Christy and Ash) an idea that was pretty gay. And I knew she would. A scavenger hunt. Um, pass! Not my bag, baby. I told her I wanted everyone together with me (it's my Aquarian nature to surround myself with all my friends!). But she wasn't mad. However, when she suggested more ideas (because she knew I wouldn't like what they planned), she was shot down left and right. Until Christy straight up told her: majority rules, this is what's going down, and she has no say in it! This pissed Lindsey off!! FYI, YOU DO NOT TELL A LEO WHAT SHE CAN OR CAN'T DO!! haha..I can picture Lindsey all mad, yelling on the phone! hahaha..sorry! Moving on! So Lindsey calls me yesterday and says, "Christy is planning your party and it sounds like something she would plan for herself. I keep telling her that you want to go downtown and but she says no. And that if you do want to go, she isn't going. And Ashlie isn't really planning it, she's just agreeing with whatever Christy is saying." Me, with my maturity (HA!) replied, well we're going downtown and getting drunk. If she doesn't want to go, she doesn't have to. Fine with me. It won't hurt my feelings, I'm a big girl. I don't care! ...... I'm not done with this story yet!

Next comes Christy, she calls me and says that she and Ash have everything planned, but Lindsey isn't being cooperative and wants to fight with everyone Blah blah blah blah blah...and that everything is fine. The party is lock and loaded and ready to go! Yadda, Yadda, Yadda. Okay. Fine. Whatever.

Lindsey soon calls afterward and insists that I won't like what Christy has planned. By this point I'm getting tired, stress and pretty annoyed. Everyone and their mom has called me complaining and got me in the middle of it when I shouldn't have. I ask Lindsey what's the plans were. She, being loyal to the bridesmaids (see, total Leo!) says, "I don't want to break the bridesmaid code!" Haha.. I told her I'm ABOVE the Bridesmaid Law and that I won't tell anyone that she told me. She complies. AND. SHE. WAS. RIGHT! Everything that was planned by Christy (who, let me remind you, isn't in my wedding party) sounded like it was something she would want to do. Not me. They were going to take me to some art place to make mugs, have a little party for me at Ash's house(which is fine by me), take me to an expensive restaurant (again, I didn't mind, but no one really has money to eat there.. this was what Ashlie's idea) and then take me bowling. Now, I'm not bagging on making mugs or bowling, but I'm 26, not 16. Those are things that she likes to do...And she and Ash asked me what I wanted to do and NOT ONE OF THOSE THINGS was in the plan. I was pissed. Why ask me what I want do and then not do it? If you are going to do that, DON'T even ask me!

FINE!!! I WILL PLAN MY BACHELORETTE PARTY!! If no one likes it, TOUGH SHIT. I won't shed a tear if they don't come. I'm tired of the fighting! My plans: I wanted my bridesmaids and I to get a mini make-over at this one nice make-up shop near Santa Fe. Next, I need clothes for my honeymoon and I have a gift card so we're going to the mall. Next is the party at Ashlie's where everyone else will meet up, following by a night of drunken dancing downtown. THERE. Was that so damn hard? I don't know where Christy came in from, thinking she can boss my bridesmaids around when she's not in the wedding. God Bless, but not a smart move, Christy! Especially with a Leo and pregnant woman. Nope. Nope. Nope. Anyway, MY plans are set in stone and as Pook would say.. "my chickens" have stopped pecking at each other...Finally. Ugh. Let's act our age and not our shoe size, right Prince? haha...sorry. Bad joke. So yah, I planned my own party...just like Elliot Reed. From this I got a fever blister due to the stress. I guess I should be glad that I'm getting one now and not on my wedding day or honeymoon. But I prayed to God and told Him/Her I'll welcome this fever blister with open arms, but the 2 weeks surrounding my wedding if He/She could spare me! We'll see. God has a funny sense of humor. Anyway, that's my rant! See it was a loooong one!! haha And as for the picture I used...I dunno..doesn't really relate to my story...I just thought it was funny!

Let the good times roll!!

So guess what Saturday is!? My bachelorette party!! I'm excited, but I am in full blown Elliot Reed mode. My friend Christy told me they (her and some of my bridesmaids) have everything planned out. One thing I wanted to do was go downtown to the clubs to drink and dance. I love dancing, I got good moves for a white girl. But we all know that when you drink, you think you're dancing good, when in fact you're dancing like Elaine from Seinfield. My friend told me we weren't going to the clubs. Um, great? Thanks for asking me what I want to do and then not plan on doing it. That's the 2nd time they did that. But she also told me that she made plans that everyone can partake in (my Maid of Honor is preggo & my sister is only 18). Screw that! God Bless, but their asses shouldn't be out so late!! haha okay..that was a little bit mean..But she also told me that we could go downtown if I wanted. I do! I told Jon if he goes to the strip joint, I'm dressing sexy! Shiiiiiiit, if he gets to have women rub their titties on him, can't I have guys rubbing their tits on me? Me thinks yes! Petty I know, but this is my last hurra being "single". It's funny because when I told Christy this she says, "well it's not like you're going to be dancing with guys.." Little does she know! Why can't I dance with guys?! I think it's fair! They're going to be fully clothed! And not nekkid like the women at Jon's party! It's not like I'm going to be making out with them. Just dancing..shit, I want free drinks! And if they touch my "Danger Zones", their access will be denied and their (dancing) session will be terminated! But I do have to ask you ladies, since you all are my older sisters to me, should I think this way? Or should I be a good girl? I need some sisterly advice! Anyway, my Elliot Reed ways are coming out of me. I want to know what they have planned! What if I don't like what we're doing? I mean if they already planned NOT going downtown when I said I wanted to...See!!! My Elliot Reed-ness is coming out!! I told you!! Ahhhh!!! Oh and I forgot to mention it's been like WWIII between my bridesmaids planning this damn party. Half of them wants to do one thing and the others want to do another. I'm just lucky I'm not in the middle of it! But nothing is set in stone. If I don't like whats going on, I guess I could change their plans (right?). Oh well...Here's to all the drunk dancing!!

Bleeding my life away...

This is too crazy not to post...but it's kind of gross. Okay..so last Friday night..when we all sign on and talk.. Jamie said she "started" Wednesday..and then Halli said she "started" Thursday (right?) . Well after I had to get off my computer..went to the bathroom and guess who started? I was 5 days late...but after I had Nick my cycle decides not to come on time...great. I just thought it was interesting that we all started around the same damn time!! Gross I know...TMI, I know! But it's my blog so you can go suck on it!

My Best Friend...

I have 3 best friends. Laura, Ashlie and my pain in the ass Leo, Lindsey. Actually, Lindsey finally dumped that p.o.s and has gotten a lot better...like 10x times better!! I was starting to pull away from her because she would call me up crying, asking what should she do (in regards to her shit eating boyfriend) and then not even take my advice and continue getting hurt...and then call me crying again blah blah blah blah...over and over, the cycle wouldn't stop. But now, all is good. Actually, great for her. She's doing a lot better and seems like she's back to her old self!

But this post isn't about her. It's about my bestest best friend, Laura. I've met Laura when I was 9. We actually known of each other when we were 8. I would see her at recess STARING at me and think WTF is up with that girl? What's her damage? Why is she staring at me? So when I caught her staring I would stick out my tongue or give her the stink eye showing her I didn't appreciate it! So fast forward 1 year later when we had the same 4th grade teacher. Our desks sat side by side, so we talked and realized how cool each other was. One day I asked her why she always stared at me last year. She answered, "because your hair was short, I didn't know if you were a boy or a girl." I guess she didn't like my Wilson Phillips hair cut...you know that blond chick that had the short hair? I thought I looked good! I still think I looked cute when I see pictures from back then... Anyway, Laura and I stuck by each other through the rest of elementary school, middle school and high school. And when I was 19, she saved me from myself. However, she still doesn't know that she saved my life.

We were in sync with each other too, we both dated losers...both of our boyfriends cheated on us and both were abusive, but I was lucky to get out when I did. But Laura stayed with her loser until she met Daniel. She left him for Daniel. Thank God she did! It's funny too because if she didn't do that, I wouldn't be with Jonathan. Daniel is Jon's best friend just like Laura and I. And I met Jon at one of Daniel's party. We didn't hit it off right away, but I slowly came around when I was ready. So Laura and Daniel got married and started trying for a family (so that our kids can grow up with their kids). Well I'm happy to say that Laura is pregnant! Yippee!! I wanted another baby...except without being pregnant and having to take care of a newborn all over again. So now I get my baby, but then I can give him/her back to Laura and Daniel. The one thing I'm looking toward is getting rid of all of Nick's baby stuff and my maternity clothes!! Anyway, July 10th 2008 is when my "baby" is coming! And this post is to my Laura, because I owe her my life and I'm glad she's having a baby because I know she's going to be an excellent mother. She's the nicest person I know and she deserves the best!