Saturday, March 29, 2008
Poor Baby
I would love to post all the wedding pictures, but Baby Crawfish is really, really sick. Last week he had a small fever, wasn't eating and didn't want to do anything except lay in my lap. Thursday I took him into the doctor and they said he has ear infections in both ears and a throat infection. Great. My poor baby. Got some antibiotics and thought everything was going to be okay. Four days after taking his antibiotics he still has a fever and his eardrum burst so its leaking out gooey cuteness. And he was crying more than before. So I took him to urgent care Easter night, 10 minutes before the urgent care closes. The doctor said his anitbiotics weren't working so she gave him a stronger antibiotic. His ear should be fine, but she told me to make an appointment with an ear,nose and throat doctor. . I did and took him in. The antibiotic seemed to work and he will be okay. So, sorry for the break in posting. I should be back next week!!
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
The Final Countdown! Part 2!
Finally its time to get married! Since my father was so sick, he didn't make it, so my brother walked me down the isle. Right when it was my turn to walk down the isle, I'm thinking, that Taco Bell was not a smart idea. It's about to be down the front of my dress since I was so nervous. But I didn't spew!! The first things that went through my mind was...look up & smile. I have a bad habit looking at the ground when I walk. Escpecially when I'm really nervous! So it was like..take a step, look up at everyone a smile. Take a step, keep looking up and keep smiling. Take a step, don't even think about looking down and wear that damn smile. After that, everything was like a walk in the park. Our pastor made a Seinfeld joke durring the wedding and I thought, too cool! And when it came to our vows, I smiled and said them all without a tear! I couldn't cry! I don't know if there was too many people or if I was too excited to cry, but I didn't.
Afterwards, we had the reception there at the church. We cut the cake and fed it to each other. I reminded Jon that he will feed me first (so that if he smushes it in my face, I could return the favor. He didn't. Smart man). And after everyone left, we took pictures of the wedding party.
We planned a dinner for our family and friends only. You know...so no free loaders would come. But before we headed out to dinner, I stopped at my parents house to check up on my Dad. He was even worse than before. I cried. Because I never saw him so vulnerable, weak and so sick, it was a first for me. I gave him some water and he told me I was beautiful and really wanted to be there. I left with tears streaming down my face. Once we got to the dinner, I was a Debbie Downer. I hardly ate my food and I didn't want to do anything. No first dance with Jon, no throwing of the garder or the bouquet, I didn't want to do anything because my father wasn't there. Everyone noticed.
Towards the end, I lightened up wee bit. OOOH And I made a mixed cd for the dinner, right? One of the songs I put on it was by Carrie Underwood, Before He Cheats. Just for the BM! But I think he was too drunk to noticed. Oh well, he did his dumb toast. It was like, "you guys seem so happy together & I know you guys are going to be with each other for a long time. I'm glad Kelly and Jonathan found each other....blah blah blah" ...Listening to his gay toast was like listening to a crackhead telling me not to do drugs & because he doesn't do drugs, you know whatta mean? Pure bullshit!! After BM's toast, Jon's other groomsman started a toast of his own, which was a surprise to us. His was the same thing, but I knew he was much more sincere because there has been a few times that Jon and I hang out with him when he's drunk/high and he always says he's ready to find "The One" (soo ladies...if your looking for love..) and he wants to have what we have. He's mushy like that. Out of all of Jon's friends, I actually do like him! After his toast was my Maid of Honor's toast. Her toast was mushy too. Then it was my brother's toast & I'm thinking, Mother of pearl! How many damn toasts are we going to hear?! No, I'm kidding.. but he mentions how he was honored to walk me down the isle and that our father couldn't be there. I was touched. I didn't think he would feel that way. I'm glad he opened up because I would never in a million years think that way. Tis nice, that brother of mine!
Around 8:30pm everyone started to leave. Good, damnit! jk. Jon and I packed up some stuff left at the dinner and headed to our room. Maaaan, that room was nast! Mold growing on the shower wall...and not the stingy mold that doesn't come off...this was new mold or whatever. I could wipe if off with my fingers..& there was a big pile of towels right next to our door. Yah, nice. Elegant. We decided to go home for a bit. I forgot why, by that time I was a walking zombie. I just wanted sleep. We got home, striped off our wedding attire and put on comfy pj's and then smoked a bowl! That definatly made the night better! haha ;) after awhile we went back to the hotel and went to bed. NO sex, remember?! Damn period! ugh...dumb uterus. But that was the whole day... and that bed felt soooo good from a day like that!
Afterwards, we had the reception there at the church. We cut the cake and fed it to each other. I reminded Jon that he will feed me first (so that if he smushes it in my face, I could return the favor. He didn't. Smart man). And after everyone left, we took pictures of the wedding party.
We planned a dinner for our family and friends only. You know...so no free loaders would come. But before we headed out to dinner, I stopped at my parents house to check up on my Dad. He was even worse than before. I cried. Because I never saw him so vulnerable, weak and so sick, it was a first for me. I gave him some water and he told me I was beautiful and really wanted to be there. I left with tears streaming down my face. Once we got to the dinner, I was a Debbie Downer. I hardly ate my food and I didn't want to do anything. No first dance with Jon, no throwing of the garder or the bouquet, I didn't want to do anything because my father wasn't there. Everyone noticed.
Towards the end, I lightened up wee bit. OOOH And I made a mixed cd for the dinner, right? One of the songs I put on it was by Carrie Underwood, Before He Cheats. Just for the BM! But I think he was too drunk to noticed. Oh well, he did his dumb toast. It was like, "you guys seem so happy together & I know you guys are going to be with each other for a long time. I'm glad Kelly and Jonathan found each other....blah blah blah" ...Listening to his gay toast was like listening to a crackhead telling me not to do drugs & because he doesn't do drugs, you know whatta mean? Pure bullshit!! After BM's toast, Jon's other groomsman started a toast of his own, which was a surprise to us. His was the same thing, but I knew he was much more sincere because there has been a few times that Jon and I hang out with him when he's drunk/high and he always says he's ready to find "The One" (soo ladies...if your looking for love..) and he wants to have what we have. He's mushy like that. Out of all of Jon's friends, I actually do like him! After his toast was my Maid of Honor's toast. Her toast was mushy too. Then it was my brother's toast & I'm thinking, Mother of pearl! How many damn toasts are we going to hear?! No, I'm kidding.. but he mentions how he was honored to walk me down the isle and that our father couldn't be there. I was touched. I didn't think he would feel that way. I'm glad he opened up because I would never in a million years think that way. Tis nice, that brother of mine!
Around 8:30pm everyone started to leave. Good, damnit! jk. Jon and I packed up some stuff left at the dinner and headed to our room. Maaaan, that room was nast! Mold growing on the shower wall...and not the stingy mold that doesn't come off...this was new mold or whatever. I could wipe if off with my fingers..& there was a big pile of towels right next to our door. Yah, nice. Elegant. We decided to go home for a bit. I forgot why, by that time I was a walking zombie. I just wanted sleep. We got home, striped off our wedding attire and put on comfy pj's and then smoked a bowl! That definatly made the night better! haha ;) after awhile we went back to the hotel and went to bed. NO sex, remember?! Damn period! ugh...dumb uterus. But that was the whole day... and that bed felt soooo good from a day like that!
Saturday: The Final Countdown! Part 1! Its that long!
Would it surprise you that my ring tone is The Final Countdown by Europe? It's because of Job and his magic show...it's an Arrested Development thing. Carrying on. So on the big day, I woke up early, got baby ready and left before Jon woke up. I drove, with my baby in tow, to my parents house. One of my bridesmaids told me about a cold sore remedy where you put cucumber on it for a bit, then put a lemon on it for a bit and then medicine. Didn't have the cucumber, only the lemon and med's.
After lemoning my lip up, I drove my little sister to our hair appointment. So here I am in curlers for a really looong time (about 45 minutes) and my little sister's hair is looking fab, her hair was pretty much done by the time my stylist takes my rollers out. She looked great! Grrr to her thick hair! So after awhile, I come to the realization that my stylist is totally NOT getting my idea for my hair. I wanted this wavy 1920's-30's do, but she kept trying to put it in ringlets and then pin it to my head. I looked like I was 70 years old. I was freaking...I was about to scream "Shit, just cut my hair off and perm it!" I looked elderly...God bless the elderly...but I have about 30 yrs before I head down that road. Moving on...I'm going off course! Well I guess she had another appointment because she pawned me off to my sister's stylist. Good. Fine. My sister's stylist was about 25 yrs younger then mine. I'm sure she would have a better idea and she did. We've been there for 2 hours and my baby boy had to tag along (but being sooo sooo good!). We leave and sat in the Taco Bell drive thru for 20 minutes! There was 2 cars in front of us! What the hell??...but screw it, I still wanted my Taco Bell!
After getting the food, we go home. Finally now, I could play with baby for a bit and eat lunch. Ate my Taco Bell! Still so delicious! Once I got back to my parents house, I noticed my cold sore looked almost non-existent! The lemon worked! Woot woot! While we were eating however, I noticed that my Dad wasn't around and asked my mom about it. She told me that he was in bathroom all night. He couldn't keep any food down or water in him and she doesn't think that he's going to make it to the wedding. Wonderful.
This week couldn't be more awesome! Is there any other thing that could add to my wonderful luck? Oh, there is? Hung over bridesmaid?? And the steamer doesn't work to steam out those nice wrinkles in my dress?? Well great...add that crap topping on the sundae that is my life. Through this whole day, I try to stay optimistic. For example, my dad is sick..but at least he isn't dying or died on my wedding day..yet. (He really should have gone to the hospital, but he's so damn stubborn and "didn't want to ruin my day".) And I could have yelled at my bridesmaid for being such a dumb twat and getting drunk the night before MY wedding (how dare she!), but her boy toy already yelled at her. Good. I knew if I yell at her for it, it would go in one ear and out the other and she wouldn't care. But since her man yelled at her, it made her feel shitty. She's one of those girls. But she did have a bad headache and at least she showed up. That's the most important thing...see me being optimistic.
By all means, I was no angel...I will admit, after I got my hair fixed, I arrived at the church and took a good look at my hair and realized I still hated my hair. Now, I thought I looked like a 60 yr old lady from the 1950's. At this point, I start to cry and break down. I'm convinced God is pissed at me. He says he loves everyone..but I'm thinking...No, he really doesn't! Am I such a horrible person that Karma just wants to behead me with it's Karmic Shovel?
Let me break down my wedding drama, shall we?
1.) I had one of my friends plan an old lady bachelorette party and told my bridesmaids they have no say in it, resulting in me planning my whole party so that my friends stop fighting.
2.) Jon pulls 2 dumb dumb moves. He A) stays out all night and B) well I haven't mentioned the other dumb dumb thing he did. Nothing big, but enough for me to question.
3.) The best man, takes advantage of the bach. party by being a prick and doing something so completely vile.
4.) Jon's brother decides to call in "sick" to the rehearsal, and the best man and the other groomsman decide to avoid the girls..including myself. Oh and from this point I will use the initials BM for Best Man...or bowel movement or butt munch..whatev.
5.) BM tells Jon that if I keep being a bitch to him he will ruin my wedding. (Jon told him, if he's wants to live, ruining OUR wedding would be a bad idea. Everyone will hunt him down if he does...BM wises up...sort of.)
6.) Then the BM decides to write me an email asking me why my friends and I ignored him and to stop talking bad about him. First of all, if you're doing scandalous things, I'm going to talk about it. That's the woman in me (I didn't tell him that though). Don't do bad things and I won't talk bad about you. Simple? And second, in my response email, I just made it sound like he was being paranoid. I said, "It's not like you made an effort to talk to us. And that's how my friends are. If you don't say hi first, they definitely won't say hi. I don't know what you want me to do about that. I can't change the way they act around people they don't know. Why are you so concerned about them? How come your acting strange?" ...well that's the short version of it. He says sorry...and things are all better between us & still are...for now.
7.) Oh and at the rehearsal dinner, I get my lovely period. Nice. So I'm going to be bleeding on my wedding day and my honeymoon. Perfect. Sonofabitch! After the wedding, it's going to be the first time that we can actually have sex and won't be sinning, but we can't do it until AFTER I'm done bleeding my life away. Great. But on the positive note, I'm not pregnant! Right? See, still remaining optimistic!
8.) My dress is 1 inch longer on the left than the right. So the alteration bill was very fun to pay!
9.) Friday night I get a nice fever blister.
10.) Saturday my hair is looking like old lady poodle.
11.) My bridesmaid shows up to my wedding with a hang over AND
12.) My father is deathly ill and can't walk me down the isle.
By this time I'm thinking, Jonathan better be worth all this! We argued more in one month than we ever had in our relationship. We rarely argue. And on my wedding day I vowed never, evah getting married again. Once is enough. Oh and as for my hair...once I did my make-up and put in one teeny weeny bobby pin, I looked fine. I put on my wrinkly dress with a smile and was ready for the showdown. I let everything roll off my back. I was ready to get married!
After lemoning my lip up, I drove my little sister to our hair appointment. So here I am in curlers for a really looong time (about 45 minutes) and my little sister's hair is looking fab, her hair was pretty much done by the time my stylist takes my rollers out. She looked great! Grrr to her thick hair! So after awhile, I come to the realization that my stylist is totally NOT getting my idea for my hair. I wanted this wavy 1920's-30's do, but she kept trying to put it in ringlets and then pin it to my head. I looked like I was 70 years old. I was freaking...I was about to scream "Shit, just cut my hair off and perm it!" I looked elderly...God bless the elderly...but I have about 30 yrs before I head down that road. Moving on...I'm going off course! Well I guess she had another appointment because she pawned me off to my sister's stylist. Good. Fine. My sister's stylist was about 25 yrs younger then mine. I'm sure she would have a better idea and she did. We've been there for 2 hours and my baby boy had to tag along (but being sooo sooo good!). We leave and sat in the Taco Bell drive thru for 20 minutes! There was 2 cars in front of us! What the hell??...but screw it, I still wanted my Taco Bell!
After getting the food, we go home. Finally now, I could play with baby for a bit and eat lunch. Ate my Taco Bell! Still so delicious! Once I got back to my parents house, I noticed my cold sore looked almost non-existent! The lemon worked! Woot woot! While we were eating however, I noticed that my Dad wasn't around and asked my mom about it. She told me that he was in bathroom all night. He couldn't keep any food down or water in him and she doesn't think that he's going to make it to the wedding. Wonderful.
This week couldn't be more awesome! Is there any other thing that could add to my wonderful luck? Oh, there is? Hung over bridesmaid?? And the steamer doesn't work to steam out those nice wrinkles in my dress?? Well great...add that crap topping on the sundae that is my life. Through this whole day, I try to stay optimistic. For example, my dad is sick..but at least he isn't dying or died on my wedding day..yet. (He really should have gone to the hospital, but he's so damn stubborn and "didn't want to ruin my day".) And I could have yelled at my bridesmaid for being such a dumb twat and getting drunk the night before MY wedding (how dare she!), but her boy toy already yelled at her. Good. I knew if I yell at her for it, it would go in one ear and out the other and she wouldn't care. But since her man yelled at her, it made her feel shitty. She's one of those girls. But she did have a bad headache and at least she showed up. That's the most important thing...see me being optimistic.
By all means, I was no angel...I will admit, after I got my hair fixed, I arrived at the church and took a good look at my hair and realized I still hated my hair. Now, I thought I looked like a 60 yr old lady from the 1950's. At this point, I start to cry and break down. I'm convinced God is pissed at me. He says he loves everyone..but I'm thinking...No, he really doesn't! Am I such a horrible person that Karma just wants to behead me with it's Karmic Shovel?
Let me break down my wedding drama, shall we?
1.) I had one of my friends plan an old lady bachelorette party and told my bridesmaids they have no say in it, resulting in me planning my whole party so that my friends stop fighting.
2.) Jon pulls 2 dumb dumb moves. He A) stays out all night and B) well I haven't mentioned the other dumb dumb thing he did. Nothing big, but enough for me to question.
3.) The best man, takes advantage of the bach. party by being a prick and doing something so completely vile.
4.) Jon's brother decides to call in "sick" to the rehearsal, and the best man and the other groomsman decide to avoid the girls..including myself. Oh and from this point I will use the initials BM for Best Man...or bowel movement or butt munch..whatev.
5.) BM tells Jon that if I keep being a bitch to him he will ruin my wedding. (Jon told him, if he's wants to live, ruining OUR wedding would be a bad idea. Everyone will hunt him down if he does...BM wises up...sort of.)
6.) Then the BM decides to write me an email asking me why my friends and I ignored him and to stop talking bad about him. First of all, if you're doing scandalous things, I'm going to talk about it. That's the woman in me (I didn't tell him that though). Don't do bad things and I won't talk bad about you. Simple? And second, in my response email, I just made it sound like he was being paranoid. I said, "It's not like you made an effort to talk to us. And that's how my friends are. If you don't say hi first, they definitely won't say hi. I don't know what you want me to do about that. I can't change the way they act around people they don't know. Why are you so concerned about them? How come your acting strange?" ...well that's the short version of it. He says sorry...and things are all better between us & still are...for now.
7.) Oh and at the rehearsal dinner, I get my lovely period. Nice. So I'm going to be bleeding on my wedding day and my honeymoon. Perfect. Sonofabitch! After the wedding, it's going to be the first time that we can actually have sex and won't be sinning, but we can't do it until AFTER I'm done bleeding my life away. Great. But on the positive note, I'm not pregnant! Right? See, still remaining optimistic!
8.) My dress is 1 inch longer on the left than the right. So the alteration bill was very fun to pay!
9.) Friday night I get a nice fever blister.
10.) Saturday my hair is looking like old lady poodle.
11.) My bridesmaid shows up to my wedding with a hang over AND
12.) My father is deathly ill and can't walk me down the isle.
By this time I'm thinking, Jonathan better be worth all this! We argued more in one month than we ever had in our relationship. We rarely argue. And on my wedding day I vowed never, evah getting married again. Once is enough. Oh and as for my hair...once I did my make-up and put in one teeny weeny bobby pin, I looked fine. I put on my wrinkly dress with a smile and was ready for the showdown. I let everything roll off my back. I was ready to get married!
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Friday "The Day Before the Showdown."
Friday:
9AM - take birth control pill, even though it's useless because my period decided to come 3 days early & get my 2nd pedicoat rented from bridal store and buy baby's tux.
10:30AM - buy taco bell...yummy. nast, i know, but was craving it!
11AM- get home only to discover your friends are coming to take you to lunch
11:05AM- inhale tacos but spare thee burrito!
11:30AM - time for lunch...ugh, full belly..
12:35PM - get dumb nails...because they look a hellalot better then my real nails.
2PM - massage...aww so nice. the massuse said i had a lot of knots from stress. and i thought, you think? ;)
3:50PM - pick up Nathan from school
4PM- go to mall to shop for sneakers and bathing suit
6PM- get home and relax... or until the laundry is drying.
7PM- pack everyone's bags!!
12AM- take shower after packing for 5 hours.
12:11AM - discover fever blister on lip. great. again.
12:16AM - have a nervious breakdown. (First, i get my period days before my wedding and honeymoon..next i get this adorable little thing...nice.)
12:30AM - going to sleep after taking my wonderful cough medicine..
9AM - take birth control pill, even though it's useless because my period decided to come 3 days early & get my 2nd pedicoat rented from bridal store and buy baby's tux.
10:30AM - buy taco bell...yummy. nast, i know, but was craving it!
11AM- get home only to discover your friends are coming to take you to lunch
11:05AM- inhale tacos but spare thee burrito!
11:30AM - time for lunch...ugh, full belly..
12:35PM - get dumb nails...because they look a hellalot better then my real nails.
2PM - massage...aww so nice. the massuse said i had a lot of knots from stress. and i thought, you think? ;)
3:50PM - pick up Nathan from school
4PM- go to mall to shop for sneakers and bathing suit
6PM- get home and relax... or until the laundry is drying.
7PM- pack everyone's bags!!
12AM- take shower after packing for 5 hours.
12:11AM - discover fever blister on lip. great. again.
12:16AM - have a nervious breakdown. (First, i get my period days before my wedding and honeymoon..next i get this adorable little thing...nice.)
12:30AM - going to sleep after taking my wonderful cough medicine..
I'm back!!
Holy mother of pearl! I'm am glad everything is all done! Now, I can breathe! So don't you love drunk rants? I typed pretty good. I had to post that today though, because of the internet connections at the hotel, it didnt want to post. I still have these dumb nails, please excuse me for my misspelled words. I have lots to write about! Tons! As much as I want to show fun pictures, I think I should wait and instead, write my "drama chronicles" in order. So let me start where I dropped off, sound good?
So Jon's bachelor party. wow. (i'm done with with caps, damn nails.) well let me first start by saying we agreed to both be home kinda early...like around 3am-ish (clubs close at 2am). after my party, i got home at 2:30am. after jon's party, he got home at 12pm.....the next day! Oh I was mad! And the for some reason i wasn't surprised. i had a bad feeling from the beginning. and i was right.
****okay for the past hour i was writing a long paragraph, but i decided to delete it because you never know who is reading this blog or not. if you really need to know just email me. it has nothing to do with jon. but yah, i'm here if you want to know....
So Jon's bachelor party. wow. (i'm done with with caps, damn nails.) well let me first start by saying we agreed to both be home kinda early...like around 3am-ish (clubs close at 2am). after my party, i got home at 2:30am. after jon's party, he got home at 12pm.....the next day! Oh I was mad! And the for some reason i wasn't surprised. i had a bad feeling from the beginning. and i was right.
****okay for the past hour i was writing a long paragraph, but i decided to delete it because you never know who is reading this blog or not. if you really need to know just email me. it has nothing to do with jon. but yah, i'm here if you want to know....
Friday, March 7, 2008
Here i am...
to save the day!!!! Okay no, i'm just drunk and talking non-sense. So right now, I'm in the beautiful state of Hawaii! God made it soooooo pretty here. I don't want to leave! It reminds me of New Mexico with all the different cultures and nice people, only its warm 24/7. And crystal blue ocean everywhere instead of desert. So, we had a tour of the whole island today and Jon and I are pooped! after the tour we decide to buy some beer and relax a bit. I rank (typo, but i'm keeping it) and i'm goooooooooone mohterfuckers!! its the beer talking..not me! no...but i just wanted a lil update for ya'll. Oh and the wedding? I'm very happy I married jonathan, but I think God was mad at me because nothing...and I mean nothing, went right. so..yah, i can say confidently, i am never evah evah EVAH getting married again! if i do, i'm going to the courts or something....anyway, I need to go!! I got these shitty fake acryic nails on and its hard to type..i'm sure the beer didn't help neither! time to get really tipsey! im living life on the edge!! Love you all!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)