I lied!

Well I got some time now!! Hot damn, everything is stirring about. That's the best way I can put it. Anywho...Guess what?? I lied!! I got the my camera back last night! Now, I can tell you what we did for my bachelorette party! Yippee!!!So we did what I planned. It was only my 4 Bridesmaids (Laura, Kimmy, Ashlie and Lindsey) and I. First, we went to a nice make-up shop and Lindsey bought me some lipstick to cover up my cold sore! Nice! Next, we went to the mall and bought cute dresses. And I bought a cute dress that was $120.,but was now down to $45. Score! Laura bought me new black heels to go with my dress too! Love her! Then we all went back to Ashlie's house to meet up with everyone and have a small party. Laura also bought a Pimp Cup for me! That was the best! I love that damn glass! And I also wore a "hottie" whistle and a sash that said "Miss "outta control" Bachelorette!" and it flashed! At the party we ate pizza, played guitar hero 3, opened gifts and then it was off to the dance floor! It was fun! It was even better because guys bought me drinks, but didn't dance with me. I didn't have to feel slightly guilty if I did dance with a guy! Remember Christy? Well she was being a sour puss. I knew she would. She was getting granny on us. "I don't want to dance, my feet are killing me. Waaaaaah!!!" She's not a high heel gal at all. If you're a high heel girl you persevere through the pain and make it look fabulous! I got 2 blisters! She's more of an ugg/crocs girl. Ain't nothing wrong with that. But if you know those shoes were going to hurt, why wear them and complain, girlfriend!? Oh well, I figured once I'm drunk she won't matter to me. And I was right! My Momma taught me that! I'm nice and love everyone when I'm drunk. I drank the right amount. Enough for me to get away with doing dumb shit, but still being able to remember it. My friend dared me to kiss this bald's guy head & I did. When I got home I stripped off my dress, down to my under-roos, went to the bathroom and took my contacts out, then I puked. How nice. Just twice. Everything I ate and drank. And after I did, I wanted to pass out on the toilet. It was my new pal. I really wanted to sleep & wasn't going anywhere, but I thought, if Jon finds me here, he will keep remembering me what I did over and over and over again for the rest of my life. So I got up and went to bed! It was such a awesome party!! I loved every minute of it!!

Unfortunately, I didn't have any pictures of my drunk ass. Or the damn Youtube thing! I got all caught up in the fun! I'm sorry!! I'll try to do something this weekend! Gahh...I'm pissing my pants. I'm scared!! I DO want to marry Jon, just not in front of everyone!The rehearsal dinner was...there. We all know are parts and that's the important part. Jon & I practiced our vows. OMG it was crazy. It was my turn and I started tearing up & was about to cry. And when I did that, it was like a chain reaction. Everyone started crying. My mom, Lindsey, Tessie (Jon's mother) and his convict brother! I was all, oh my! But, I told myself to "man up" and I worked through it and I finished without a tear. It was hard. I'm not going to "really cry" until I have to. I know I will. But yah. Then we all ate BBQ afterwards. Yum! We have Kanas City blood in us, so we're all about the BBQ!! And everyone lived happily ever aftah! Thee End. Oh I wish. But, if I get a chance, I'll post about the drama! Tomorrow I'm really busy! Ashlie is my assistant for the day! She's awesome. I've been really venting everything out on her. Thank God for best friends! So here comes the pictures!!! Take care everyone!!

My little sister, Kimmy. Pa-Pannies in yo' face, Pannies in yo face! Pa-Pannies in yo' face, Pannies in yo' face! <---You're supposed to rap to that!Love me some Pimp juice!Ashlie and I.....and of course the Pimp Cup!My Cake!!They said, pick a peen sucker, Kelly! So I took the big one, and they were suprised for some reason. Hello! Of course I want the big one! Who wouldn't?!My Leo Lindsey and I!All thee amigas!! Ash And I at the rehersal dinner!!

yah, I'm here...

But barely. I can't post much. My life is BUSY BUSY BUSY!!! So in a nutshell...My party ROCKED!! I knew it would! I have pictures, but I forgot my camera at my friends house. Poopers. So the weekend after my party was Jon's bachelor/birthday party. Motherfucker. I now offically hate his best friend (aka The Best Man). I have to be nice! I don't want him to ruin my wedding! But shit will indeed hit the fan. I'm so fckn pissed! Oh...so much fckn drama. If I could, that bastard wouldn't even be in my wedding. He didn't get Jon to do anything bad. But the party he planned for Jon, was more for himself (and his ill intentions) than for Jon. Give me 2 weeks and I will deliever the drama. You guys will be amazed at this guys fckn nerve. I can't even believe it. Other than that, the rehersal is tonight! Kill him with kindness. That's my plan. So yah...sorry for the lack of posts...

OH! ANNNND. A big THANKS to Jamie for sending me a card!! Thank you! It made me laugh and feel better!! Take care!

ELLIOT REED HAS LANDED!!

WARNING: LONG RANT AHEAD!! This is going to be a looooong post!! But it's gossipy...so if you like gossipy-girl fights, continue!

OMG!!! It's WWIII between my bridesmaids/friends. The shit hit my fan yesterday. And it didn't need to neithah! My bestest pal, Laura, is my Maid of Honor. And pregnant. 4 almost 5 months now! Well, I guess my friends decided that she's too pregnant. So one of my friends, Christy (who isn't in my wedding), decided to take matters into her own hands and call my friend, Ashlie, and told her what the plans were for the party. Ashlie agreed and they planned the whole thing WITHOUT Laura. Christy also wrote me an email about how Laura didn't seem too enthused to plan it. I'm not going to lie, it kind of hurt me. I'm not asking for a parade or anything, but I thought even though Laura is pregnant, she isn't dead. She can muster up something for me. Well that turns out not to be the case. I find out from Laura that she DID want to help plan the party, but was told it was too late. And she was hurt. Grrrr!! It takes a lot to hurt Laura's feelings; I felt horrible for her. Two of Laura's flaws about her is that she procrastinates and she's a push-over. Needless to say, she couldn't help plan the party, even if she tried.

So next on our list is Lindsey, my stubborn, passionate, loyal Leo. I'm not going to lie. Lindsey suggested (to Christy and Ash) an idea that was pretty gay. And I knew she would. A scavenger hunt. Um, pass! Not my bag, baby. I told her I wanted everyone together with me (it's my Aquarian nature to surround myself with all my friends!). But she wasn't mad. However, when she suggested more ideas (because she knew I wouldn't like what they planned), she was shot down left and right. Until Christy straight up told her: majority rules, this is what's going down, and she has no say in it! This pissed Lindsey off!! FYI, YOU DO NOT TELL A LEO WHAT SHE CAN OR CAN'T DO!! haha..I can picture Lindsey all mad, yelling on the phone! hahaha..sorry! Moving on! So Lindsey calls me yesterday and says, "Christy is planning your party and it sounds like something she would plan for herself. I keep telling her that you want to go downtown and but she says no. And that if you do want to go, she isn't going. And Ashlie isn't really planning it, she's just agreeing with whatever Christy is saying." Me, with my maturity (HA!) replied, well we're going downtown and getting drunk. If she doesn't want to go, she doesn't have to. Fine with me. It won't hurt my feelings, I'm a big girl. I don't care! ...... I'm not done with this story yet!

Next comes Christy, she calls me and says that she and Ash have everything planned, but Lindsey isn't being cooperative and wants to fight with everyone Blah blah blah blah blah...and that everything is fine. The party is lock and loaded and ready to go! Yadda, Yadda, Yadda. Okay. Fine. Whatever.

Lindsey soon calls afterward and insists that I won't like what Christy has planned. By this point I'm getting tired, stress and pretty annoyed. Everyone and their mom has called me complaining and got me in the middle of it when I shouldn't have. I ask Lindsey what's the plans were. She, being loyal to the bridesmaids (see, total Leo!) says, "I don't want to break the bridesmaid code!" Haha.. I told her I'm ABOVE the Bridesmaid Law and that I won't tell anyone that she told me. She complies. AND. SHE. WAS. RIGHT! Everything that was planned by Christy (who, let me remind you, isn't in my wedding party) sounded like it was something she would want to do. Not me. They were going to take me to some art place to make mugs, have a little party for me at Ash's house(which is fine by me), take me to an expensive restaurant (again, I didn't mind, but no one really has money to eat there.. this was what Ashlie's idea) and then take me bowling. Now, I'm not bagging on making mugs or bowling, but I'm 26, not 16. Those are things that she likes to do...And she and Ash asked me what I wanted to do and NOT ONE OF THOSE THINGS was in the plan. I was pissed. Why ask me what I want do and then not do it? If you are going to do that, DON'T even ask me!

FINE!!! I WILL PLAN MY BACHELORETTE PARTY!! If no one likes it, TOUGH SHIT. I won't shed a tear if they don't come. I'm tired of the fighting! My plans: I wanted my bridesmaids and I to get a mini make-over at this one nice make-up shop near Santa Fe. Next, I need clothes for my honeymoon and I have a gift card so we're going to the mall. Next is the party at Ashlie's where everyone else will meet up, following by a night of drunken dancing downtown. THERE. Was that so damn hard? I don't know where Christy came in from, thinking she can boss my bridesmaids around when she's not in the wedding. God Bless, but not a smart move, Christy! Especially with a Leo and pregnant woman. Nope. Nope. Nope. Anyway, MY plans are set in stone and as Pook would say.. "my chickens" have stopped pecking at each other...Finally. Ugh. Let's act our age and not our shoe size, right Prince? haha...sorry. Bad joke. So yah, I planned my own party...just like Elliot Reed. From this I got a fever blister due to the stress. I guess I should be glad that I'm getting one now and not on my wedding day or honeymoon. But I prayed to God and told Him/Her I'll welcome this fever blister with open arms, but the 2 weeks surrounding my wedding if He/She could spare me! We'll see. God has a funny sense of humor. Anyway, that's my rant! See it was a loooong one!! haha And as for the picture I used...I dunno..doesn't really relate to my story...I just thought it was funny!

Let the good times roll!!

So guess what Saturday is!? My bachelorette party!! I'm excited, but I am in full blown Elliot Reed mode. My friend Christy told me they (her and some of my bridesmaids) have everything planned out. One thing I wanted to do was go downtown to the clubs to drink and dance. I love dancing, I got good moves for a white girl. But we all know that when you drink, you think you're dancing good, when in fact you're dancing like Elaine from Seinfield. My friend told me we weren't going to the clubs. Um, great? Thanks for asking me what I want to do and then not plan on doing it. That's the 2nd time they did that. But she also told me that she made plans that everyone can partake in (my Maid of Honor is preggo & my sister is only 18). Screw that! God Bless, but their asses shouldn't be out so late!! haha okay..that was a little bit mean..But she also told me that we could go downtown if I wanted. I do! I told Jon if he goes to the strip joint, I'm dressing sexy! Shiiiiiiit, if he gets to have women rub their titties on him, can't I have guys rubbing their tits on me? Me thinks yes! Petty I know, but this is my last hurra being "single". It's funny because when I told Christy this she says, "well it's not like you're going to be dancing with guys.." Little does she know! Why can't I dance with guys?! I think it's fair! They're going to be fully clothed! And not nekkid like the women at Jon's party! It's not like I'm going to be making out with them. Just dancing..shit, I want free drinks! And if they touch my "Danger Zones", their access will be denied and their (dancing) session will be terminated! But I do have to ask you ladies, since you all are my older sisters to me, should I think this way? Or should I be a good girl? I need some sisterly advice! Anyway, my Elliot Reed ways are coming out of me. I want to know what they have planned! What if I don't like what we're doing? I mean if they already planned NOT going downtown when I said I wanted to...See!!! My Elliot Reed-ness is coming out!! I told you!! Ahhhh!!! Oh and I forgot to mention it's been like WWIII between my bridesmaids planning this damn party. Half of them wants to do one thing and the others want to do another. I'm just lucky I'm not in the middle of it! But nothing is set in stone. If I don't like whats going on, I guess I could change their plans (right?). Oh well...Here's to all the drunk dancing!!

Thank You All!

I've been quite a pissy mood lately. I have everything planned for my wedding. Everything is perfect, everything is right, everything is done. I'm ready to finally get married. The closer it gets, the more mushy I am to Jonathan. 22 more days! 23 more days until Hawaii!! But since everything is perfect thus far, everyone and they're fckn mom wants to change things. And it's pissing me off! And I think I might post another rant about my future brother and sister-in-laws. Ugh! What's their fckn problem? Anyway, bring on the positive! Well my birthday was exactly how I wanted. I did nothing. I could care less about the Super Bowl. I just stayed home with my family and it was sweet. I told Jonathan not to get me anything, but he didn't listen and gave me a beautiful diamond bracelet (it was a birthday/wedding present). I'm a very frugal person, I don't buy designer things and I buy the cheapest of the cheap when it comes to myself (other people I splurge out the big bucks). Jonathan could have gotten a rubber band and glued glitter to it and I would be happy. Shit, if it sparkles, it sparkles. I ain't choosey! But I do wear it a lot....in the house. I'm too skeered to wear it out!
Like my bony hand? I got Angelina Jolie zombie hands, veins and all! Thank you to everyone that gave me birthday wishes!! It made me realize how long we have known each other...almost two years now!! Wowza!! Shazam!! Zoinks!! Isn't that insane!? When are we going to have a "cheeto convention"?

Oh, no she didn't!!

Jessica Alba always says smart things like she is a "curvy (thick) girl". Yah, I thought the same thing, dumb broad. Anyway..so this hag says this:
"In Albuquerque there’s really only one restaurant that’s pretty good. You can only take Applebee’s and Chili’s so much. Our big day was hanging out at Wal-Mart for five hours. It was like, ‘Yea Wal-Mart!"

Really, Jessica? I know you didn't! Not to my beloved "Burque". What a dumb-dumb move on your part. I mean Albuquerque is NO L.A., but we do have shit to do around here. It's pretty sad that you hung out at a Walmart, because us residents, don't. We don't. We got better shit to do. And we actually have more than one good restaurant. Applebee's and Chili's aren't as packed compare to all the locally owned restaurants (the good ones! Not the hole-in-the-wall ones!). But let's go back to this Wal-Mart fun you had. Seriously, Wal-Mart is hell! You stayed there for 5 hours? Is that how long you walked around before SOMEONE notice you? You have a lot of money, you can do whatever you want and you hung out at Wal-Mart? Every time I have to go to Satan's Market (that's what I call it!), I try to get out of there fast. It's always filled with people who are out of sync with reality or assholes. But you stayed there for 5 hours so I guess you fit right in. I find it amusing how you're quick to insult Albuquerque. Usually the local news always gets so hyped up when a celeb comes here. No one knew you were even here until you started flapping your gums. Anyway, next time you bash NM, let me fill you in of what type of people we are. Some may call us hippies, but one thing for sure is we are very proud people. We're pretty nice laid back people, but when you insult us, we get vicious. We're proud of the culture here and the history. We are proud of where we've been and how far we have come. And we have PLENTY of museums to show you all the different kinds of cultures we have. I mean PLENTY! 5 hours? I'm sure you really weren't there for 5 hours...I bet that you're so much of a bitch you just stayed holed up in your hotel. Well thanks for spewing out your venom. Because I guarantee you lost a lot your fan base. Now it's my turn to spit my venom. Who do you think you are? You're movies tanked at the box office! You are about as worthless as Paris Hilton. The only thing you contributed to the world are the idiotic ramblings and insults that flow out of your trap. Oh, and this is Elyse Sewell. She's from Albuquerque and was on America's Next Top Model..This is how, us kids in Albuquerque are. Trust. You act like an petty asshole or a fckn idiot, we'll call you out on it. Next time you visit, I'm pretty sure someone will greet you with warm welcome of negativity. Oh Elyse, I love you!!!



P.S. Sorry, for the rant, but NM is a very beautiful state. With the most down-to-Earth people you will meet (with the exceptions of the town idiots). I LOVE living here.